Internet Fast :)

As an early New Year's resolution, I have decided to fast from the internet for one week...no Facebook, no blogging, and no Skype-ing with my boyfriend while he's away in Phoenix (even though I really want to!).

Why? Well, I've been giving lots and lots of my time away to these things and not enough to God. I want to get re-connected with Him, spend some quality time praying and reading the Bible, and just sitting in His presence. I want Him to be my sole focus for a whole week, to let Him do whatever He wants with me for seven days. It's quite scary, but exciting at the same time.

I am reminded of how Jesus went away to pray in Mark 6..."After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray." (vs.46) Jesus needed to spend some alone time with God - He needed to retreat to be with His Father. That's what I've got to do. One whole week of devotion to the Lord! I'm ready to come back and share with you all the great things He will do in the next seven days. Blessings to all! :)

Happy Birthday to Me!!

Well, I'm finally 17! Honestly, it doesn't feel much different than being 16...but it sure feels a lot better to be caught up with everyone else in my grade. That won't last for long, though, because come January, everyone will be turning 18 and I'll have to wait another year for that to happen!

Today was such a great day, even though it got off to a rocky start. My boyfriend called (at 9:00 in the morning!) to tell me he had double booked me for that evening. (WHAT?!) Well, after I got over the initial anger, we decided to hang out in the afternoon instead. Before our hang out, my best friend took me out for a birthday lunch...he's the guy in the last picture. I blogged about him a while ago when I wrote about him coming to youth group in October. He seems to be doing well, and I am continuing to pray for him :) I had a delicious turkey clubhouse sandwhich...yum...and I helped him shop for his sister's Christmas gift, though we didn't really find anything at Walmart.

After lunch, I went over to my boyfriend's to watch my all time favorite movie - Pride & Prejudice. I don't think he enjoyed it as much as I did...but oh well, you can't make everyone happy! He surprised me with a beautiful bouquet of flowers (seen in the first picture) which definately made up for the morning "mishap." I guess I just can't stay mad at him for long!

Another great part of today was getting a brand new camera and cellphone from the parents. The camera is amazing - picture #2 was taken from inside the restaurant of a bush that was 5 metres away! The 10x zoom is so great - be expecting lots of great pictures next year!

Well, I have to go because it is getting fairly late, but I just wanted to take this time and thank everyone who reads this blog and comments :) Your encouragement and kind words make my day so much brighter! God bless you all in this Christmas season!

Beginning of a New Chapter

Another year has passed, a new chapter has begun. It's crazy to think how time flies - and I'm only seventeen! (Well, not until the 23rd). I wonder how fast the time will go by when I'm 80!

To celebrate my birthday, I invited my friends for a time of hanging out, eating, and skating. I'm not big on skating, but really, what else is there to do when your birthday is in the middle of winter? Curling? Anyways, it turned out to be a fun day. I had lots of fun skating with my friends (and boyfriend!) and got some great gifts - candles, socks, and best of all, journals. If you couldn't already tell, I am very big on writing. I've been journaling every day for almost a year now!

This year is definately going to be a scary one. With the end of high school looming, a new chapter will shortly begin - University. My mom and I got into a huge argument today about where I want to go. She wants me to go somewhere nearby, preferably a big name secular University, whereas I've been considering a Christian one all the way out in Virginia. When I suggested my idea, she completely shot it down, flat out prohibiting me from applying there. What a conundrum I'm in now!

Nevertheless, I'm trusting God with this whole messy situation. It's in His hands, and He knows what He is doing...I just have to believe! I know that when I am 80 and time is flying faster than ever, I'll look back and be amazed at God's hand in my life and thank Him for His wisdom and direction!

P.S. Here's a few photos from my party:

Christmas Time is Here :)

I love Christmas time...it's probably my favorite season of the year. Everyone bustles about in the snow, people actually try to be nicer to each other, and above all, we celebrate the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Isn't that what Christmas is all about? This year, I'm trying really hard to make Jesus the "reason for the season." I'm planning to read through the first few chapters of Luke over the next few days so that I can prepare myself for the wonderful celebration of Jesus' birthday.

Not as easy as I thought...

After my last post, I've been trying, really trying, to open up more to other people. It's proven rather difficult - okay, really difficult! I grew quite accustomed to my nice, safe, hiding place behind the walls of a fortress I created to guard my heart. I've allowed God to get in, and that was an amazing feat - of course, it was all His doing! But God has been nudging me to let others in, too, my brothers and sisters in Christ, so that I can experience love and fellowship with them.

Well, it's not as easy as I initially thought. I've deattached myself from so many people in my life so that I wouldn't have to deal with the feelings that came with them. I retreated deeper within my "fortress", hoping, praying, that no one would care enough to look deeper than my surface smile. God has a funny way of working things out, though, and it usually includes something that I don't want to do. He's been placing people in my life that are making me open up, and while it's scary, it's also freeing. I praise Him for His perfect plan, for it's making me more like Jesus. By letting others in, I'm letting in the love of Jesus that flows through them.

What it really comes down to is love (doesn't it always?). God loves us, and He gave us other people so that we may love them and let them love us. God created Eve for Adam because it wasn't good for man to be alone. Jesus said the two greatest commandments were to (1) Love God and (2) Love each other as we love ourselves. God doesn't want us to hide from Him or from the people He's placed in our lives.

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love...Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love another." - 1 John 4:7-8, 11

Whether you're running from love or not loving others, you are still not accepting and not showing the love that God gave us. He sent His son, Jesus, as the perfect act of love. In turn, we are to love Him back with all of our heart, and love those around us.

Getting Down to the Bottom of Things...

In my last post, I told you about the library books that I'm currently reading (one down, two to go!). I have just started the book called "Captivating" and it's really opened my eyes up to who I am as a woman. One of the insights I've gleaned is how we, as women, long to be loved and cherished, and actually WANT to be dependent. At first, that totally did not make any sense to me. I hate being dependent...hate hate hate! But after reading the section in the book that talked about it, I stopped and asked myself - "Do I actually hate being dependent? Or is there more to it than that?"

Well, obviously there's more to it! Here's what the author writes in the book. "I simply loved feeling wanted and fought for. This desire is set deep in the heart of every little girl - and every woman. Yet most of us are ashamed of it. We downplay it. We pretend that it is less than it is. We are women of the twenty-first century after all - strong, independent, and capable, thank you very much...At some core place, maybe deep within, perhaps hidden or buried in her heart, every woman wants to be seen, wanted and pursued. We want to be romanced." (pg 9-10)

Well, of course we want to be romanced! Of course we want to be dependent on someone! That's what love and faith and trust are all about...being dependent! Yet somewhow, our desire for that has been buried. We've become ashamed of being who we are at our core - a woman who wants to be loved and taken care of! Our world has sent us unhealthy messages that we have to be powerful, independent women who don't need anyone else. These are lies that we've unfortunately came to believe over time. Yet at our very heart, God created us with the need to be needed, the need to be pursued.

He created us with this need so that He could fulfill it for us. God pursues us with a passion, He romances us and sets us apart as His children. He went so far as to even die for us. In return, He wants us to be broken to the point where we come before His throne and confess that we are completely and totally dependent on Him.

Not only has God created us to be dependent on Him, but also for us to be dependent on others - in a healthy, safe way. This doesn't mean that we are to blindly put our trust in others, but that we can stop putting our guard up around our brothers and sisters in Christ. As women, we should stop building up walls of independence around us, and instead let people into our lives - that they may love us and utimately point us to God's love.

PS. Here's some pictures of our Christmas Tree this year...our very first live one!

Lots of News!

Wow, my weekend has certainly got off to an exciting and busy start! I'm reminded in the middle of it all just how blessed I am by the Lord, and how He works everything together for the good.

For starters, yours truly went on her first DATE on Friday night! Me, on a date! I wouldn't believe it myself, except that it's true! Well, me and this boy went to the movies to see The Blind Side. I was very hesitant at first, due to the strong theme of football in the movie, but it turned out to actually be okay. It was really sad at parts, but redeemed itself with a happy ending. After the movie, we went to a coffee place and had hot choclate (well, I did - he had coffee - yuck!). I had a splendid evening :)

Today, I went Christmas shopping for a few of my friends, and stopped by the library to pick up a few books. I'm really enjoying the variety of Christian non-fiction they have. I got out "Competely" by Shannon Ethridge, "Captivating" by John & Stasi Eldredge, and "Twinkle" by Elisa Morgan. I can't wait to read them all and learn more about the Lord through these books.

My last bit of exciting news is that I got my road test booked for January the 8th! Here where I live, you get your preliminary license (G1) which means you an drive a car only if you have an adult in the passenger side. After 8 months of having this license, you apply for a road test which enables you to drive by yourself. Unfortunately, the test center has been on strike since August, which means no one has been able to get their G2 license, even though you can still book tests. I'm praying that they'll be off strike by January 8th!

That's all for now...hope everyone enjoys the rest of their weekend! Keep following Jesus :)

I lift up my eyes to you...

Today I re-discovered just how much I love worshipping our amazing and mighty God. In a quiet and empty house, I turned on some worship music (Leeland!) and stood there singing out my heart to Him. What an amazing, powerful, humbling experience! To know that you are singing to the very same God that created the universe and brought Jesus back to life and opened His arms to us, His children. Amazing :)

I also re-discovered just how blessed I am by amazing friends that God has put into my life. Each and every one has a purpose - to cheer me up, encourage me, and even sing me songs. But their greater purpose, and the reason God has blessed me with them is for me to ultimately be drawn closer to HIM! They are tools that He uses for me to grow in my relationship with Him and teach me more about Him.

God has constantly been trying to teach me just how valuable and precious I am in His sight. I am guilty of forgetting that and brushing it off, falsely thinking that I have no worth and am really just a nobody. This negative thinking has leaked into my relationships with friends, causing me to compare myself to them and ultimately discourage me as a follower of Jesus. I guess God decided to step in and quickly correct my false thinking by placing a great friend in my life who has helped me to see God's truth. A simple message from her in my inbox worked miracles. Guess I actually do matter and I am making a difference - just in a different way than I thought.

We all need a wake up call once in a while to help us re-focus or eyes on the Lord and strengthen ourselves in Him.