When friends fail...

I have one of those small Gideon Bibles that they give you when you're in elementary school...y'know, when they come to your class and hand you a new testament and you never even open it? Well, I decided to look through it, and I found a great section that gives you verses to go to if you're feeling a certain way. I've found this very beneficial in my devotional time...it's helped me when I've felt afraid (Mark 4:35-36), when I was lonely (Psalm 23), and recently when friends have failed (Psalm 41).

Now, I don't give my trust easily when it comes to anything, friends included. It takes me a while to warm up to somebody, and even longer for me to share stuff with them. But when I find a good friend, I find that I put a lot of trust in them - which can turn out to be a bad thing sometimes!

Psalm 41 speaks of how the Lord protects and preserves our lives and how God has mercy on us when our friends have betrayed us. My favorite verse is: "I know that you are pleased with me, for my enemy does not triumph over me." (vesre 11) God has defeated the enemy - the war is won, yet Satan still tries to win a few battles here and there to drag us down. Sometimes we forgot that God has ultimately won and victory is His!

When friends/family/anything other than God fails us, we know that there is One who is constant and loving and whose arms will always be open for us to run into. He will not fail us because He knows what is best - He is perfect and good! When it seems like no one can be trusted and you feel alone, the Lord is right beside you, ready to be your strength.

You Satisfy Me...

When I walk with You,
it's like nothing else
in that single moment matters.
You and I are together,
and the day to day troubles
are far behind me.
You hold my hand,
and Your voice reassures me
that everything will be okay.
I believe Your truth,
and hold on to the promise
that You gave to us, through Your son.
How could I doubt You?
Never have You failed me,
never have You left my side.
Broken, I surrender all I am,
and give You my life.
For You satisfy...You satisfy me.

Decisions, Decisions!

Being in Grade 12 means LOTS of decisions to make. Questions such as "What do I want to do with my life?", "What do I want to be?", and "Where am I going to go to University?" are questions that frequently enter my mind. And, for a 16-year-old, are questions that I don't feel like I'm ready to answer. After all, how much have I lived of life to know who I really am or what I want to do? Am I really certified to answer that at such a young age?

This weekend, I visited a Christian University not far from my home that I'm considering. Everything was great, except for one thing - how small it was! Only 500 undergrads attend the University. For a social butterfly like me, this would definately be an environment that I'd have trouble with.

On Thursday, my parents and I are planning on taking a tour of the biggest and most prestigious University here in Canada. Over 40, 000 undergraduate students are enrolled, and that number is doubled when taking into consideration the graduate students. The "University Experience" is complete here - thousands of students, beautiful sprawling campus, and not to mention the variety of classes and courses you can choose from! The only negative, though, is the fact that it is a secular university. And while Campus for Christ is present, I wouldn't be recieving an education in line with God's Word.

Herein lies my conundrum. Applications must be submitted by January. That's no problem at all. But a choice must be made sometime in April...and although that sounds far away, the deadline is coming closer and closer. How am I suppossed to make a choice? Does God want me in one specific place? And if He does, how am I going to figure out where it is? What if it's neither one or the other, but a completely different option altogether?

All I know is that I have to trust in Him. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5-6) Oh, Lord! That I may always trust in You and depend on You is my prayer. May You lead me to wherever You want me, for I know that You have a plan for my life, a life that sings Your story.

An update :)

Hello :) I just wanted to write a little update on how I've been doing, and what God has been doing in my life. As you all know, life has been quite hectic, but I am trying my hardest to rise above the circumstances and look to God. Doing this is difficult, but SO rewarding in the end! It's great to know that your life rests in His hands, and that we don't have to do anything but give it over to Him.

It's the giving over part that creates problems for people. I know that for myself, being dependant on someone is the hardest thing for me to do. By nature, I'm a highly independant person, who doesn't trust people easily. I am skeptical of others, and am afraid of having to trust someone. Thankfully, the Lord has been slowly but steadily teaching me how to be dependant - first on Him, and also on Christian brothers and sisters.

Depending on the Lord is an area of my life that has been growing by leaps and bounds. When I look back to when I first became a Christian, I see a girl who was afraid of trusting even the God who had saved her. Now, I am learning to put my life in the hands of the One who created the universe, the One who can be trusted no matter what.