Am I Crazy?

I definitely think I am - in this world, anyways.

I just finished reading "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan - an amazing book! If you haven't read it yet, I highly recommend that you do. It's life changing and thought provoking. Not a very difficult read intellectually - but very difficult on the comfort level. Don't read it if you don't want your life to change.

Anyways, after I finished reading it, a crazy thought popped into my head...I want my life to be harder. Yeah, insane, I know...but I actually do. I want God to give me storms so that I'm closer to Him - I don't want to be complacent and lukewarm...I want to be on fire and passionate!

I have no idea where my life is headed or how things will turn out. This whole U of T thing really scared me - but now I realize that it's God's will for my life. I can shine as a light to others in the midst of sin, brokenness, and bad decisions. I can live for Jesus.

It's like that Mikeschair song called "Let the Waters Rise." The chorus goes like:

There's a raging sea right in front of me, wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees

So let the waters rise, if You want them to, I will follow You, I will follow You.

Lord, I want life to get harder if it means I'll be closer to You. I want to stand before Your throne in heaven and say, "Lord, I did all I could to live a life that glorified You. I did the best with what You gave me, and I'm ready to spend eternity with You."